Do You Ever Talk To Strangers?

What! Talk to strangers? Me? Not a chance. And to talk to someone of the opposite sex? Even less of a chance. In fact, I wouldn't even dream of it.

You're at a party and you see this chap standing on his own. Wouldn't you be tempted to go over to him and strike up a conversation? The two basic reasons why you wouldn't start up a conversation are fear and shyness.

"Suppose they don't like me?"

"I don't know what to say."

There goes the old imagination at work again. Why shouldn't he like you? He's never met you before. But what is this fear people have of approaching others 'cold'? Perhaps they're afraid of saying the wrong thing. But unless they open with a line like; "I've been watching you from the other side of the room, and you've a mouth as big as the Cheddar Gorge," it's unlikely you will say the wrong thing.

Just; "Good evening. I saw you standing on your own, just like me." No-one can take offense at that and the person you've spoken to is probably very pleased that someone's actually spoken to him.

The first thing to do is to smile. Don't approach the poor bloke as though you intend to do him an injury. Try to put a genuine smile on your face first and then approach him. Smiles are infectious. The chances are that if you smile, he'll flash one back. So break the ice with a smile, open the conversation and see where it leads.

When he answers, don't feel so relieved that you start chakkering away like a monkey at him. Conversations are two way streets.

Now, it is true that you never know what you're getting yourself into. He may be a perfectly happy, cheerful man who just wants a good chat about generalities. On the other hand, his wife may just have left him and before you know it, he may start to cry his eyes out.

All right. But at least you've opened the conversation, which is the whole object of the exercise. Assuming he's a perfectly well balanced chap, show an interest in what he's saying. Ask the occasional question about what he does, so that he can see that you're genuinely interested, (even if you aren't!).

Another useful tool is humour, but here you have to tread carefully. There are few things worse that the stand up comedian routine. I knew a bloke like that. He could come out with one joke after another. The six most dreaded words in the English language are; "oh, yes, that reminds me of... " Actually, I knew him well enough to tell him to shut up or I'd wring his neck, but you can't always do that.

Another thing you should avoid at all costs is 'Dutch courage'. Well, you think to yourself, I'll just have a couple or three slugs of Scotch and I'll be able to chat to a mountain gorilla. Now, the trouble is that you may think you're fine.

The poor chap you've chosen to talk to is going to notice in no time that he's in for a drunken ramble and will make good his escape.

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